A moment that both halted and raced through my restless mind.
A moment of flashing lights… flames flickering… and then time stood still, freezing the images to imprint upon the sea of my thoughts. They remain there, etched as an integral trace of my memories—my memories of you.
The sun bathed your profile, and your skin glowed.
I saw you from the balcony, yet your light reached me effortlessly. When you turned to the side, I noticed the sparkles in your eyes—eyes reminiscent of gemstones: bright and enchanting.
Enchanting.
There is no other word to describe your beauty.
Unforgettable, perhaps?
I followed you like a fool. I stepped onto the walkway, my gaze fixed on you.
You wore a long rose-colored gown, blending with the hues of the sunset. Your servants carried your belongings beside you. Your silk-like hair was tied above your slender neck. You were delicate, and I thought of porcelain when I thought of you. Delicate and lovely.
You whispered something into your servant's ear, and she whispered back.
When you looked up again, your cheeks were flushed.
What had she said? I longed to know.
I kept following you. I maneuvered around a couple on the balcony, desperate not to lose sight of you.
Your steps were small and light, and I imagined your footprints as tiny as your slim wrists.
Did I mention how beautiful your hands were when you reached up to tuck your hair behind your ear?
You were beautiful.
As I reached the end of the balcony, I also reached the end of my imagination. My enamored mind, hopelessly consumed, sank under the weight of reality. I looked down at my plain gown and felt my shallow pockets. My life as a commoner stood far beneath the rank of your station. My lady, the general’s daughter, with her beauty and grace, was far beyond the reach of my longing gaze.
**
I had noticed you before.
When Lianer urged me through the alley, I resisted quickening my steps. My heart lingered, and so did my pace.
I slowed my walk, greedily longing for you to be closer, even if the balcony separated us from the sand beneath my feet.
I noticed you from the corner of my eye. I prayed for you to follow.
I wished you would follow.
So I slowed down. Every now and then, I stole a careful glance—not directly at you—but just close enough to glimpse your hat and the outline of your sleeves.
I pretended to listen to the chatter of the crowd.
Some were bargaining; others gossiped about rising market prices.
Lianer spoke of the fish market and how the cost had increased with winter approaching. Mackerel would soon be out of season, yet they made up some of Father’s favorite dishes. The cooks had rushed the servants to buy more mackerels that morning.
I nodded, feigning interest.
Then I caught a whiff of tea tree oil. Stretching my neck slightly forward, I searched for its source. I recognized it instantly as the scent you carried the first time I noticed you.
It was that afternoon when the study hall had closed, and you strolled out with your classmates. I was helping my father with errands when fate allowed our paths to cross. I had been struck then by the sharpness of your eyes, contrasting with the gentleness of your steady voice. The wave of tea tree oil lingered in the air between us, imprinting itself in my memory as vividly as your assured presence.
This morning, I caught sight of you again. I dared not stare for too long. Just the thought of you made my cheeks burn.
I prayed you wouldn’t notice.
I imagined this fleeting encounter as a fateful meeting, even if it would never happen again. I imagined you walking down the stairs, tipping your hat, and greeting me. I pictured looking into your kind eyes, my heart racing with the forbidden nature of my thoughts.
I hope you knew.
Even if I am destined to marry another—a match chosen by my father—know that you are the man I saw in my dreams.
One last time, I turned to glance at you, careful not to meet your gaze directly.
Goodbye… a shadow of my longing now buried forever in my heart.
**
(Year 2020)
I noticed you the first time you walked into the café.
Hiding behind my laptop, I watched as you stepped behind the counter, put on your apron, and smiled at the register.
Your smile was radiant. It stole my attention immediately, and I looked down just as quickly, afraid you’d catch me staring.
I stayed two hours longer than I had planned. My report was finished, and the numbers confirmed we were on top this quarter. Still, I lingered.
I glanced up, and our eyes met for the briefest second. I quickly looked away, my face flushing with embarrassment.
I fidgeted—a mix of panic and the rush of blood pounding in my chest.
Then you walked over.
I held my breath when you spoke. Your voice was as gentle as your smile.
“The café is closing in ten minutes,” you said.
I nodded, hurriedly packing my things.
Then I noticed it.
The familiar scent of tea tree oil.
I looked up, blushing, and found your eyes still on me. You seemed to be waiting for me to say something.
I swallowed hard and shook my head.
You nodded and walked away, the scent fading with your footsteps.
Something stirred in me—a sense of familiarity, though I simply can't recall what.
Have we met before? I wondered. But I quickly dismissed the thought.
As I reached the doorway, I hesitated, sensing your gaze still on me.
This time, I turned and found the courage to look at you.
Our eyes met once more.
The tea tree scent.
The radiant smile.
The gentle voice.
Something fateful lingered in the air between us, beyond memory or reason.
I took a step toward you.
I smiled, and you were already smiling back.