You have to shut the door.
Which door? I was panting.
Shut one door.
But which one?
You choose.
I stared ahead of me. A million doors opened—each with its own distinct paint and doorknob design.
I blinked, lost in the sea of colorful patterns.
The voice kept rushing me. It kept asking me to choose.
Choose a door and shut it. Or one will be chosen for you.
I dug my nails into my palm until the pain became numbness. I just couldn’t make up my mind.
I ran toward the horizon and touched a metal doorknob. Cold and rigid. Could this be the one?
The door had no windows. The woodgrain bled through the white paint. It looked old and rusted.
Maybe this is the door? I thought.
Choose one.
In a moment of panic, I shut the door—forever locking away whatever was on the other side. I leaned against the wooden panel. There was nothing. No sound. Maybe there wasn’t supposed to be anything on the other side. Maybe this was the right choice. Maybe this was the door I needed to close.
**
At my friend's wedding, I met her aunt. I was struggling to hold my bridesmaid dress up against my chest when she introduced us. My friend whispered in my ear: That’s the aunt who can see things.
Or clairvoyant… that’s what they called her.
She smiled at me and touched my arm with the tenderness of an aunt.
She asked about my day… my work… how I met Jewel.
I told her we met in college. Ever since then, we’d been best friends.
"Are you seeing someone, Lara?"
I shook my head, smiling bitterly. It was the response I gave at every wedding these days. I was used to it, but the emptiness never fully went away.
"How come? You’re beautiful and smart." She tugged lightly at my arm.
"I don’t know, Auntie..." I laughed, bitterly. "I heard from Jewel that you have a way of seeing things... maybe you can give me a clue..."
A clue as to when I’ll finally meet the right person.
Auntie looked at me. Her eyes were bright as stars. But no words came. Silence lingered.
Then, in a voice softer than before, she asked, "Are you happy now, Lara?"
"Yeah..."
"Do you feel complete?" She drew a small circle in the air.
"I do… but I still hope to find the right person… one day."
She sighed. I felt the grip of her hand around my arm. Her hand was small. She stood a head shorter than I did.
"You know…" she said, "you’re beautiful and smart, Lara. You have a good family… and a bright future. Perhaps love isn’t what you truly need."
"I know… but it would be nice to find someone."
"It would be nice. But maybe not necessary..."
I frowned, and my heart sank. Was she saying I wasn’t going to meet the right person? I wasn’t superstitious, but a little blessing never hurt.
I tried to smile, but she saw through it. Then she added gently, “It’s okay, Lara. I believe God has a plan for each of us. And that plan—for you—is the best one.”
I nodded, lips pressed together.
"Sometimes, a door must be shut so others can remain open. Whatever is on the other side… probably wasn’t meant to be."
Doors.
Shutting doors.
The imagery resurfaced. I remembered the dream I had the other night.
"What if… I wanted to know what was on the other side?" I asked.
"It wasn’t meant to be," she said, resting her hand on mine with a gentle squeeze.
You have to shut a door. Or one will be chosen for you.
Shut a door.
The door is now closed.
**
That afternoon, I watched as Jewel walked toward the altar. Her white dress shimmered under the sunlight.
I watched as she teared up in front of her husband.
I watched them exchange vows—words of endearment and promises. A reminder that they were meant to cross each other’s paths. Everything about it felt destined.
I smiled, tears pricking the corners of my eyes. They were meant to be. From the first day of college to the ten years that followed, they’d been inseparable—two puzzle pieces that belonged together. Nothing else fit between them. Their days might be repetitive now—and for the rest of their lives—but to someone like me, it was a fairytale.
That was their plan. Not mine.
Because mine had already been broken.
I closed my eyes, and flickers of memory surged forward.
I was once in love, too. He was handsome. Funny. He made me laugh the first time we spoke at a friend’s birthday party. He brought me a glass of lemonade. He asked for my number. Weeks later, he asked me to be his girlfriend.
He let me rest in his embrace and feel the warmth of his chest. He was real. He was someone I wanted. He was the person I woke up next to in the morning. He smelled like the morning dew.
But wanting something and having it be yours are two different things.
Because he didn’t belong to me.
I wasn’t the one he knelt in front of. I wasn’t the one he asked to marry. I wasn’t the one standing at the altar. His vows weren't meant for me.
He left. And I shut the door.
Ever since that day, something inside me was broken.
But now I understand—it wasn’t meant to be. And maybe not just him. Maybe some things… weren’t meant to be in this life. For me.
I glanced at the crowd. My eyes found hers—Jewel’s auntie sitting a few rows away. She smiled at me with soft, knowing eyes.
Her words echoed in the chamber of my heart.
Some things are not meant to be. Some doors are meant to be shut. In this life.
And maybe that’s okay. Other people’s paths will never be mine. And mine will never be theirs.
I watched as Jewel and her husband kissed. Petals fell. People cheered.
They walked out of the church. Their shadows emerging on the other side of the doors.
I stood there as the crowd followed. I walked slowly.
The doors closed before I could reach them.
When I opened it again, sunlight poured across my face—bright and warm.
I didn’t hesitate. I walked forward, letting the doors close quietly behind me.